Tuesday's gray

Being a grownup sucks. My heart is in the pacific northwest and I am a refugee in TX. I love austin but it is just not home. I can see the path that I need to travel to get to where I want to be. I am here for school plain & simple, wish it would go quicker. I am trying to appreciate the process & embrace the growth that comes from sacrafice. I am still scared to be in the same geographical lication as my boy & not beable to see him. Some days the grief is so intense I feel like I am splitting open. Most days though, I am able to be greatful for the time I had with him & optomistic for what our future might be, once he has a say in who is in his life. My biggest fear is he has been brainwashed where i am concerned. I miss my partners in crime & the natural beauty of Oregon. I miss how familiar & fond of my life there was before it all fell to shit. I miss what might have been.